Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Even my limbs are tired..

Well today lil bit turned 3 months. She has reverted back to her newborn sleeping last night which bit the big one. I am currently running on whatever fumes are left in the tank. I have (since the baby was born) gotten the kids to school on time, whether my husband or mother was here or not, I am very proud of this.
Now facing that my husband is leaving again on a trip kinda makes me wanna scream but I can handle it. I can't get over how tired I am all the time, and how i barely have the energy to face anything during the day. I know that is making me very short with my kids.
After hitting the gym for the past two weeks I have not lost any weight. I think I have discovered a couple of reasons why:

1. I have learned that I totally eat for comfort. If I am frustrated I hit the refrigerator!

2. I eat for pleasure, I love the way food tastes. I am proud that the chinese food leftovers from last week are still in the fridge (yes I am going to throw them away)! Chinese food is my weakness.

3. I eat when I am bored. My husband and I sometimes just go you wanna eat some junk..sure why not.

4. Soda is not my friend,if I give it up I am starving. If I don't I am using good calories on nothing. But the bubbles and sugar are great!

5. I have given up my favorite Starbucks drinks, my cousin introduced me to a White Chocolate Mocha and that was the end of that. I don't drink it anymore. I am missing that caffeine big time.

6.There is Easter candy in the house!

7. I bought buttercreme cake and cupcakes. I had two in one day. This food journaling sucks ass.

8. Yesterday I had a cupcake, an ice cream sandwich, and a slice of cake right at bed time! I have no will power.

9. If I don't over eat, I spend too much money at the mall or my favorite haunt, Target.

10. All 9 of those revelations aren't helping me lose any weight at all.

I have had two cups of yogurt: 60 calories each, 0 grams of fat.
two large pieces of hawaiian sweet bread i baked yesterday: not sure
one Curves strawberry bar: 100 calories 20 from fat
and one 100 calorie pack of short bread cookies: 100 calories 3 from fat
Two bottles of water so = 1 liter of water
So just in 4 hours I have consumed 320 + calories and I am starving! I hate that this is what food has done to me and that I am having a hard time finding a balance. I need to lose 50 lbs but when you are eating a wonderful meal you aren't thinking about any of that.

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