Well I guess I can quit trying..

Its been months since I talked to my sister. I think I am now an only child. It sucks but oh well what can i do? I don't want to kiss her ass because I swore not to eat anything that was going to make me fat again.

I feel sorry for her but at the same time, I am tired of sacrificing.

2009 will be a new year for me! I promised myself that.

Ok so I am bad with time

It has been a while since I was here. I was really depressed when I started this blog but since September I have found some really wonderful things about myself.

1. I rock :47 lbs lost so far. Down from a size 22+ now to a very lose 16!
2. My mother in law (the devil)is not someone I should share anything with. Our friendship and being cordial to each other is over.
3. My sister and I will never have a good relationship as long as she thinks I am supposed to take care of her.
4. Tying my tubes best idea ever!
5. Starting school, good for my soul.
6. I do not need to please everyone around me. I need to dedicate some time and emotion for my family and stop giving everyone else everything they need!!!
7. I don't have to have the same friends, I can make my own!
8. I love my husband and he loves me and I can stop looking for something to happen to us and just live for the moments! Plus 13 years is a long time!
9. I can encourage myself and find joy in myself and my children.
10. A week ago my little girl started walking. How amazing is life. Life is good

Now it is only fair to say I have witnessed some tragic events recently, and it has undeniably altered my attitude. I am taking life and what I choose to deal with more seriously. I was venting here before but now I feel like I can offer advice because I am in a better place to be a friend, mother, wife, sister, and daughter. I have to be my own friend first!

Ten days left until my family hits paradise! I can't wait.

Back in the saddle again

Sorry I have been off the grid for a while. I have been having extended family issues. I had to have a comprehensive study done of my blood to see why I haven't been losing weight.

I have to say it is freaking nice to see that I can make a muscle. I have to work on my flabby butt and jiggly arms, and pouchy belly. I am proud to say that I have lost about 9% body fat.

My love life is better. My husband and I are really starting to connect.

I put my kids into a new school. My son hates it but whatever.

Our littlest one is now pulling herself to standing at 8 months. This is going by so fast but she is so worth it. I love her so much. I love all my kids, but she reminds me that I have a very bright future to look forward to.

I can understand why some women just keep having babies they are beautiful and make you feel wonderful. But I need to get ready to be normal and stop worrying about labor pains and stretch marks.

Onto the next chapter: future plans and the next 10 years of marriage!

Worst weekend ever.....

Well lets start out the weekend with a visit to the nutrionisit. Find out that you don't eat enough fruit or vegetables (i love fruits and veggies), find out you have a soda problem. Find out you are a true mess.

Pack your suitcase at the last minute. Realize that you are amazing and didn't over pack, didn't underpack either. Leave late for the airport, realize you have no money to tip the shuttle driver, and oh you left your boarding pass at home, along with your itinerary. Make the snap decision at the parking garage to leave the stroller, your first big ass mistake, your daughter is 18lbs and your carseat weighs about 8lbs without baby.
Pull a muscle picking up said daughter from carseat. Pull muscle again while holding baby in longest security line in history. Pull muscles again running from security checkpoint to gate and realize your flight is delayed. Get annoyed at nice ladies admiring your baby that want to touch her. Let them know they need to wash their hands, ladies are not amused but still watch baby. Have man sit next to you and exclaim," Oh no a baby." Get pissed off at him and almost tell him off. Daughter fusses for a few minutes then goes back to sleep. Declare guy an asshole, everyone is surprised that baby is so quiet and tells you how sweet of a baby she is. Make small talk with guy sitting with you and watch crappy movie on tv.
Land in take forever to get car, finally get to mother's house and she isn't there. Spend time with father (pure torture) finally see mother.
Next morning wake up and can't stand up or bend over, pain is unbelieveable. Have to spend time in the car. Aunt makes reference to my daughter finally looking like family, ignore comment because back pain is too bad. Flew all this way to see my cousin, he takes off from the airport without even calling and not even seeing me. I don't see some of my family because they are too busy or have sorry ass excuses.
Leaving almost miss my flight and leave my daughters hat and shoes at the security check point. Calling them now to see if my mother can pick them up.

Has to be the worse weekend ever. Back still hurts a lot and I am so upset it is hard to talk about the weekend anymore.

Babi Phat

Well our little one has hit the 16 week mark. Not doing too bad sleeping throught the night. It isn't constant but it is a lot of fun to wake up and realize hey you've been sleeping the whole time! She is 18 lbs of all woman. She is cute and funny and happy. I couldn't ask for a better baby. I am wondering how she will do with the babysitter today while I am gone for many hours?

I am going to pump some breastmilk and see what happens! Ha

Can wait to get outta here tomorrow gonna go see my mama and grandma. I can't wait to show off our little princess.

Sensitivity

I have been feeling kinda sensitive to certain things lately. It doesn't really seem to make sense. I found out a friend of a friend is getting married. So I guess that means that I am the unwanted friend because I didn't even get invited to come to the bachelorette party. It was really quite sad and really bummed me out. I am getting over it though.

My sister in law, sister, mother in law, and father in law apparently aren't speaking to us. It sucks so much. I hate it when people don't really value me and my time. I am not sure why exactly they don't want to talk to us and I find myself not really caring!

My toddler is driving me nuts, he is always into everything and it makes me wanna lose it completely sometimes.

Weight lost goal still hasn't been reached and probably won't anytime soon.

I love Myspace

I found one of my best friends in the whole world. I haven't seen her in 6 years. She just left. She did my dishes! I totally love her.
Babygirl is trying to give up the nap. Which is totally not working for me. So I gotta get back to putting her to sleep or at least trying too.

Next time:

How to piss off your mother in law so that she doesn't call you anymore!